October 24, 2026

My so-called tour is beginning in a way I hadn’t expected. You can plan and plan, and still find yourself surprised by how it actually feels.

For the past month, my back pain has limited what I can do. At the same time, I’ve felt myself pulling away from the people around me, retreating into my own world. I know I’m creating some of that distance myself, but being unwell has made it stronger. Now a cold has added another layer.

I’m preparing to leave, but in some ways I already feel far away. There’s something strange about that—and, even through the discomfort, something fascinating. I’d made plans for the journey. I hadn’t imagined feeling quite like this before it began.